The CAPS Peer Education Program is currently putting together a new workshop on healthy relationships that we hope to add to our current three workshops that we offer! In the process of assembling this project we’ve discussed a lot about boundaries and how they can vary from person to person as well as based on types of relationships. In this post, Reil talks about some of the ways that boundaries are defined and how you can establish your own boundaries.
Boundaries and Ways to Establish Them
By: Sareil ‘Reil’ Brookins
The very thing that keeps me from overwhelming, overextending, and overworking myself. What are boundaries? Not the literal physical boundaries of buildings or rooms. More so boundaries as described below, all of which are essentially the same thing, just stated differently.
Emotional and physical space between you and another personEstablished set of limits over your physical and emotional well-being which you expect others to respect in their relationship with you.Healthy emotional and physical distance you can maintain between you and another so that you do not become overly trapped and/or dependent.Appropriate amount of emotional and physical closeness you need to maintain so that you and another do not become too detached and/or overly independent.
You may think that implementing boundaries is as easy as 1, 2, and 3. However, it is easier said than done. Fortunately, there are suggested steps as to how to establish boundaries. Here we go.
Step 1: Identify the symptoms of your boundaries currently being or having been violated or ignored.
Step 2: Identify the irrational or unhealthy thinking and beliefs by which you allow your boundaries to be ignored or violated.
Step 3: Identify new, more rational, healthy thinking and beliefs which will encourage you to change your behaviors so that you build healthy boundaries between you and others.
Step 4: Identify new behaviors you need to add to your healthy boundary building behaviors repertoire in order to sustain healthy boundaries between you and others.
Step 5: Implement the healthy boundary building beliefs and behaviors in your life so that your space, privacy and rights are no longer ignored or violated.
Working on setting and honoring boundaries will do more good than harm at the end of the day. It may seem hard at first, but your mental, emotional, physical and overall wellness is more important.