We live in a society that normalizes apologizing for just about everything. We apologize for being late, instead of thanking people for being patient. We apologize when things come up for us, instead of thanking people for being understanding. This places a burden on us all and makes us feel that we are always at fault. Our peer educator, Nuria, believes that it's time to focus on ourselves and not others, and instead of asking others for forgiveness, we should be learning how to forgive ourselves.
It’s Time to Forgive Ourselves
By: Nuria Villanueva
As we grow older, our days get longer and busier. We start sacrificing things we see as easily disposable, such as: things we liked doing for fun, texting our friends regularly, and game nights. But, often times we sacrifice things that are more personal, such as: our sanity, sleep, eating, and visiting home. It is easy to feel consumed in our schedules and a lot of times we set aside how we feel. Personally, there have been several instances where I felt like I could not focus on myself and how I was feeling with the changing world around me. I would set it aside to make room for school and work, completely disregarding the way I was feeling and how I was affected - directly and indirectly.
Often, we ask for forgiveness when we cancel meetings, can’t make plans with friends, and when we do not have a flexible enough schedule to fit our loved ones in. It is easy to ask others for forgiveness, but have we considered asking ourselves for forgiveness for not making time to take care of ourselves?
A person I really trust shared this activity with me. You can do it with a friend, partner, a loved one, or simply a person you trust. It requires patience and a quiet space. We call it the Forgiveness Practice. Give your person this script. Close your eyes. Place your hand on the most tense part of yourself (e.g. your heart, your chest, your head). Take a deep breath.
Friend, partner, or loved one - this is where you come in. Read this script a couple times and take your time. This could be useful for you as well. Do not rush, and take your time.
Forgiveness Practice
Repeat 3 times: For all the times I have hurt or harmed myself, knowingly or unknowingly, to the extent I’m able, I offer myself forgiveness.
Repeat 3 times: For all the times I have hurt or harmed another, knowingly or unknowingly, to the extent I am able, I offer myself forgiveness.
Now, remember to be patient with yourself. You are your longest commitment and you deserve to hear these words. Take care, friend.