What do you consider home during your college career? As college students it can be hard to understand your identity and place when comparing your home before coming to college and your home here at school. Here, Peer Educator, Jorge shares his experience with coming to terms with himself on what he considers his home.
When Home No Longer Feels Like Home
by Jorge Roque
I’m originally from Long Beach, CA which is about a 7 hour drive away from Santa Cruz. Now while everyone is usually sad to leave their hometown, I was not, I was happy to have been given the opportunity to leave my hometown for a place where I could start fresh and develop myself as a person. And that’s exactly what I did my first quarter, I outgrew my old self, I learned new things about myself that I could have never done if I stayed.
As soon as I returned to Long Beach for my winter break I found myself feeling like home lost the warm loving feeling, I quickly realized that my home was no longer my home. Now while at first I felt bad that I lost this sentiment towards my hometown, I realized it was bound to happen. Me leaving was the first step at me really becoming the person I was going to grow up to be. As bad as it may sound, I don’t miss home, and each time I say that I get a gasp or two from friends around me. But the thing is, that I outgrew home, I outgrew the mindset, the people, and the area overall. I’m lucky enough to say that I was able to get out. I try and remind myself of a few things.
It is okay to no longer feel attached to your hometown. For many, like myself, our hometown may be something that restrains us from reaching our goals or our full potential. You don’t have to feel bad for losing relationships with people, whether that be with friends or family. You shouldn’t feel guilty about the fact that you outgrow certain people. I think most importantly you shouldn’t feel guilty at the fact that you left, that you were given the opportunity to better yourself.
You may not feel this for a few quarters, or you may feel it as soon as you finish your first quarter, just remember that it is okay for home to no longer feel like home. You’re just on a journey to finding a new place that you can call home.